Review: Conduit 2

IF WE WERE AT A BAR THIS GAME WOULD LAUGH YOU RIGHT INTO BED.

Remember The Conduit for the Nintendo Wii? Neither do I. It was yet another FPS that had potential mired in a sea of problems. Two years later High Voltage Software gives us a sequel (as expected). But the emphasis this time is based on a campy ‘B’ movie very much in the line of Armed & Dangerous (Xbox - 2003). Now usually I never get excited about a Wii FPS, but with a prospect for funny in a genre full of brooding assholes with their dying planets or whatever, Conduit 2 may just hit the sweet spot for more than a few gamers. Let’s check it out, yeah?

Having very little knowledge of the original game (I was waiting for COD:MW 2, sue me) I’ve been told how big of a leap the second entry was. All I can say is that Conduit 2 is full of that certain kind of charm that comes along once in a great while. You know how the storylines of your average game is filled with nonsensical gibberish that’s supposed to pass itself off as profound logic? Picture something like that but actually meant to be funny and nonsensical. Narritive is hilarious as is the banter from the Bosses (with whom the battles are awesome). Level design is surprisingly well done. With lots of branching paths and alternate routes you tend to lose the ease of navigation to the next area. Not the case here at all (something the bigger franchises are still struggling to figure out). And not only that, as the story takes you across the globe, each level really has it’s own feel. I know that it’s supposed to be this way, but when you take the great graphics (for the Wii) into consideration, you can easily imagine the old ‘new locale, same look’ deal popping up. Weapons are varied between the usual and the weird and incredible (see: Hive Cannon). And a ‘Conspiracy Piece’ system is in place where as you scan various objects you collect pieces to spend in multiplayer modes. By the by, Multiplayer levels are huge in number and incorporate many game setups seen in many FPS.

All said, the big draw to me is the incredibly stupid A.I.. And when I say stupid, I mean ‘grab a helmut and oven mitts’ kind of stupid. At first I thought it was unintentional, but as I progressed through the game I noticed that while taking the regular bad guys out was easy (and fun) as hell, the boss battles got appropriately more difficult (and hilarious). I do have to say there’s nothing like charging through a long, bloody battle only to enter the next room all pumped-up and the guys are just staring blankly at you like ‘hey man, what’s up?’. This example and many more has led me to believe that the programming of the enemy A.I. was mostly intentional - further adding to the aforementioned campy charm. Brilliance or terrible programing? I’ll go for the former. Oh and one last thing: there are secrets strewn about all over the place. And with that comes the opportunity to revisit levels in order to find them all - giving the game some replay. And who doesn’t love that?

It’s not all Monty Python and Spaceballs however. The charm that I find in the laughable A.I. may not be shared by some gamers (you jaded bastards). Enemy hilarity notwithstanding, confined corridor + piece of cover = 70% of the level design (and makes for finding secrets a bit tough). This gives way to the predictable combat most games try to avoid. The shotgun is squirrelly and inconsistent as far as doling out damage which struck me as odd. Using the Classic Controller is an option but the sensitivity levels are way off even when toned down all the way (ducking is a crap-shoot also), so stick to the usual Nunchuck setup. The most disappointing thing was the multiplayer. All the charm of the singleplayer is lost despite the huge (yet tired) amount of options. It’s fun for a bit, then you quickly realize how much fun comes from the dialogue and wonkyness of the main storyline. Quality, not quantity people - never forget that.

Despite it’s flaws, Conduit 2 is an enjoyable FPS experience. I cannot stress enough how refreshing it is to play a game that thumbs its nose at all the (unnecessary?) seriousness of the First-Person Shooter genre. If you have a Wii here’s a reason to dust it off and fire it up. It not often that the opportunity presents itself to do so these days.