Author Archives: BJ Schwinghammer

I’m not the best at introductions so I’ll jump right in and tell a little about myself. I’ve been an avid gamer for roughly twenty-three years now, things have slowed a touch since I’ve discovered women and alcohol , but I still fit time in quite well I think. Fighting games, shooters and RPGs are my top choices for genres (though fighting games seem to have less and less to offer in the way of ingenuity nowadays and far too much focus on graphics, but anyways).

I enjoy long walks on a beach and belly dancing……………and Monty Python.

I have all of the systems from my childhood (and the childhood of others- viva garage sales!). I still dust off my ColecoVision, Intellevision, Wonderswan etc, etc from time to time and have multiples of systems still in the original packaging so that one day I can buy the new 2027 model Ferrari (hopefully I can still use my legs by then). Call me a geek if you wish, but I just might take a length or two of your small intestines if you do. Just sayin is all.

Speaking of which.

One thing you will likely notice while reading my articles is that I tend to branch out heavily and change the subject frequently, but trust me when I say that at the end it will all come together nicely and you will be humored, well informed, and have some sort of strange, contorted expression on your face. And know that the thought of that brings a huge smile to mine. Because you will look stupid.

Well, lets get on with it then shall we?

Review: Worms 2: Armageddon

AWWWW WHAT A CUTE LITTLE…S**T!! DID THAT WORM JUST SHOOT A ROCKET AT ME?!! WHAT THE HELL?!!

Well, it’s been fifteen years since the release of the original Worms for the PC. And after many, many different releases each trying something different with the series, we are offered an HD version of Worms 2: Armageddon for the PSN. Besides the graphical upgrade, it boasts a fairly good amount of additions and upgrades that beef up the PS3 version from other platforms. Let’s see exactly what that entails, shall we?

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Review: Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep

OOOOOOOHHH, NOW YA DID IT, YOU PISSED OFF MICKEY…

Well, it’s been almost a decade since Disney and Squaresoft started this little dance that we call ‘Kingdom Hearts’. And while people are waiting with bated breath for the third installment in the series, we have been given a prequel in the form of Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep. As with any release associated with a high-profile series Birth by Sleep has come under some scrutiny from many critics. So, how has this game stood up to the others? Click the link and I’ll tell ya.

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Review: Ace Combat: Joint Assault

COME FLY THE DEADLY SKIES.

Hello once again all you flying fans! It’s time for another PSP installment of the ever-popular Ace Combat series! Over the years its name has gone hand-in-hand with incredibly fun aerial combat coupled with great graphics, engrossing storylines and super-tight controls. With the release of Joint Assault, the only real question is: has this release kept up the pace of previous entries? Click the link to find out…

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Review: Piyotama

Like many of you, I’m getting rather bored with all the Tetris-styled games that have been coming out in the last… 25 years. And a quick glance at Piyotama gives you pretty much the same feeling. But get a little further into the game and you find it has an interesting but not unexpected ‘Connect Four’ twist to it. Giving that last sentence an odd look? Click on the link for a little clarity.

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Review: Arc Rise Fantasia

Of the three major JRPGs coming out for the Wii this generation, Arc Rise Fantasia is the first one out of the gate – the others being The Last Story and Xenoblade (though others will likely wiggle their way onto the console). And as with most games that jump out ahead of its competition, Arc Rise will come under a microscope to see if it was rushed out the door or not. A traditionally structured JRPG, Arc Rise doesn’t try to break the mold but simply tries to tell a story that keeps the players engrossed, and make them comfortable with familiar controls and battle system. So, does it accomplish it’s task? Click on the link to find out.

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Street Fighter X Tekken: What Needs To Happen

OMYGOD-OHMYGOD-OHMYGOD-OHMYGOD-OHMYGOD-OHMYGOD….

As far as fighting games go I can safely say that I have a serious problem. Not because they take over my life or anything – OK, that’s kind of a lie – but because I get so revved up when a new or fresh idea is introduced into the genre. Now, imagine my reaction when I hear about the SF/Tekken crossovers (let’s just say much cleaning was needed). Now, I’m all for this going down, but let’s go over the various concerns that could arise with this release. We’ve all seen cool crossovers go terribly awry, so I’m not going to mince words – I’ve never been good at it anyways…

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Review: Dragon Ball Origins 2

MY KINGDOM FOR A SAVE POINT. NO SERIOUSLY…

As some of you may have noticed I have been almost like an in-house Dragon Ball game reviewer for Loot-Ninja. And I love every minute of it. I have to admit that I didn’t play too much of Dragon Ball Origins (I keep myself busy with the console versions of DB if I have the itch), but I played enough to know that the enjoyable storyline and fun combat was deserving of the acclaim it earned among fans and critics. When any sequel comes out the one thing on everybody’s mind boils down to ‘is it as good?’ ‘is it better?’ ‘will it cure my grotesque bodily smell?’. The answers to all those (except for the last one…that’s a ‘no’) are all right here for you. Have at it.

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Review: Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Heroes 3

ACTION PACKED AND FULL OF CRAP.

It seem that Bandai-Namco is wasting little time in releasing yet another Naruto: Shippuden game. I’ve actually played quite a few of the series’ offerings now that I think about it. Having noticed a steady-but-gradual decline in the games, I have been hoping that this new release starts that sometimes difficult upward climb back to former greatness. I hear that Heroes 3 give players a heap if extras that could give it some long legs. Let’s go see how it all works out shall we?

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Review: Super Street Fighter IV

HOLD ON, CAN YOU STILL CALL THEM ‘THE NEW CHALLENGERS‘ IF THEY’VE BEEN AROUND FOR SIXTEEN YEARS?! YOU CAN? THAT’S WEIRD…

Well, it’s been a year, two months and 10 day separation between SFIV and the upgraded SUPER SFIV (roughly). For a lot of us Street Fighter super-fans the idea of a separate game based on what looks like a simple update has garnered a lot of odd looks. ‘Why can’t they just give it to us in a download?’ was the argument. And I have to say that I held onto that thought since the announcement right through when I picked it up at Matt’s house. After several minutes I knew the truth. At this point I’m sure you’re wondering whether or not all the hubbub warrants the $40 price tag. Click the link to find out.

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Review: Spectral Force Genesis

I WANTED TO BE A GAMER BUT I DIDN’T HAVE THE PATIENCE….

Spectral Force Genesis wants to be more than just one type of game. It touts itself as being a Role Playing Game, a Real-Time Strategy and a War Sim. In the past many a game has fallen by overreaching to attempt to grab more audience. I was worried about this as I read the back of the games cover. But I believe someone said something similar about books (the African journal American Speech in 1944 I think…) so I cracked it open and took a long gander inside. Wanna know what I found?! Click the link to find out.

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