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Loot Ninja Editor Hospitalized; Prayers Are With His Family

A minor tragedy has befallen your good friends at Loot Ninja. One our of editors, who shall remain nameless for legal reasons, had to be sent to a Queens area hospital around 11:30 PM last night. He required immediate surgery and is now in stable condition. Loot Ninja was able to get a statement from the Admitting Nurse Practitioner:

The patient had to have immediate surgery to remove what appeared to be a Nintendo Wii Remote from his rectal cavity. When the patient was asked how, he just kept repeating…”Worst Final Smash ever…” What was impressive however was that the Wii Nunchuk was also present. Needless to say he won’t be gaming or sitting down anytime soon.

Our prayers are with you and we all hope a quick recovery and some much needed therapy are in store. Loot Ninja’s health insurance plan will cover all the expenses. Please be sure to leave your good intentions for this is truly the darkest of hours.

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Written by Steve Kohlbecker on April 1, 2008 at 9:09 am.
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13 Comments

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  1. Gravatar
    nostars
    Posted April 1, 2008 at 9:37 am | Permalink
    1

    Did they find the cord that connects the Wiimote to the nunchuck?

  2. Gravatar
    fierce Scuba
    Posted April 1, 2008 at 9:44 am | Permalink
    2

    They were still attached.

  3. Schwinghammer
    Posted April 1, 2008 at 9:49 am | Permalink
    3

    Rule #1: Always keep track of your pooper when playing the Wii.

  4. Gravatar
    Matt Banks
    Posted April 1, 2008 at 9:53 am | Permalink
    4

    Thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers. Do we have confirmation yet if he was using the Wii Remote condom?

  5. Gravatar
    nostars
    Posted April 1, 2008 at 9:54 am | Permalink
    5

    ^^Especially when I’m bowling. “Taint Punch!”

  6. Gravatar
    Al Zamora
    Posted April 1, 2008 at 10:01 am | Permalink
    6

    Luckily he was not using the Wii racing wheel, he would be shitting pancakes for the rest of his life!

  7. Princess Omala
    Posted April 1, 2008 at 11:47 am | Permalink
    7

    April 1st suxs…I so learned a valuable lesson on this one…read the complete freaking article…LOL

  8. Gravatar
    Matt Banks
    Posted April 1, 2008 at 11:50 am | Permalink
    8

    Don’t worry, we won’t be giving any bogus gaming news and such. Just a little poking fun at ourselves

  9. mister needles
    Posted April 1, 2008 at 11:52 am | Permalink
    9

    Dude, put that thing on ebay.

  10. Fragloser
    Posted April 1, 2008 at 12:20 pm | Permalink
    10

    Haha that is great. When I first started reading it I thought it was serious until the Wiimote part. You guys are evil but it should have been expected

  11. Gravatar
    Al Zamora
    Posted April 1, 2008 at 12:28 pm | Permalink
    11

    LOL, yeah even I was fucking fooled. I was like shiet did one of our editors die.

  12. DragonPhoeniX
    Posted April 1, 2008 at 3:19 pm | Permalink
    12

    if it was real i would say this gives foreplay a whole new mining but it is april first so yea

  13. fug hu
    Posted April 1, 2008 at 4:57 pm | Permalink
    13

    obvious april fools joke is obvious

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  1. By Loot Ninja » Week in Loot Ninja - March 28th Edition on April 5, 2008 at 3:01 pm
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