The Super Secret Plan To Take Down A Backlog

If you’ve been on Loot Ninja for awhile, you’ve already seen my growing list of backlogged video games. It’s quite the list of titles, ranging all over the place, to frighten any would-be gamer who’s thinking about getting into the hobby. In fact, I think it will frighten new gamers to our little hobby and show them what a compulsive gamer turns out like. Now to just find 30 stray cats and I will complete the cycle.

I’m kidding of course, but I think I’m a borderline hoarder of video games. A sucker for a good deal. A gamer who sees a game that needs to be played for a great price and snatches it up, only to have it sit on the gaming shelf for months or even a year. I even scoff sometimes at gamers who insist on playing one title for hours on end (I’m looking mostly at the Call of Duty crowd). Why play one game for 120 hours when there are so many other great games out there that you haven’t played? Not played even once!

To me? I want to play the great games and throw in a few guilty pleasures for my own personal enjoyment (I”m looking at you Deadly Premonition and 50 Cent: Blood in the Sand). You can see how this is a problem. In an era of advancement in all areas of video games - storytelling, graphics, gameplay, controls, emotion, etc. - it seems like every AAA title finds itself in my gaming backlog.

Think back a few years ago on how many games you HAD TO HAVE. Maybe a couple right? There were the big players every 3 or 4 months and then there would be a lull in titles over the summer. Think to how it is now? It seems every month now there is a new title being released that needs to find it’s way into your gaming cabinet or disc tray. That’s just crazy.

And thus you see my predicament. Too many great games have been released in a short amount of time. Too many “maybe” titles that I really shouldn’t buy have gone on sale and I want them now.

But there is hope. There is light. A strong presence of resolution that came over me as I sat and played one of my games in my backlog. It hit me like a stasis ball in Mass Effect (the title I was playing when it hit me).

I know how to take down the backlog.

Before we get into that, here’s my list of games that need to be conquered:

PS3 Games:

• Call Of Duty: World At War – 6 hours in
• God Of War III – At Zeus boss battle
• Infamous – 1 hour in
• Dead Space 2 - unplayed
• Final Fantasy XIII – 5 hours in
• Far Cry 2 – 2 hours in
• Resistance: Fall of Man – 6 hours in
• Resistance 2 – 1 hour in
• Gran Turismo 5 - 3 hours in
• Dirt 2 – 4 hours in
• Prototype – 8 hours in
• Little Big Planet – 4 hours in
• Dead Nation - 3 hours in
• Split/Second - 4 hours in

Nintendo Wii:

• No More Heroes – 2 hours in
• No More Heroes: Desperate Struggle – 4 hours in
• MadWorld – unplayed
• Misc. Wii Network Titles

Xbox 360 Games (Disc/XBLA):

• Lego Harry Potter – 5 hours in
• Deadly Premonition – 5 hours in
• Fable II – 2 hours in
• DeathSpank – 5 hours in
• Left 4 Dead 2 – 2 hours in
• Wolfenstein – 2 hours in
• Afro Samurai – 3 hours in
• Brutal Legend – 3 hours in
• 50 Cent: Blood In The Sand – 5 hours in
• Mass Effect 2 – 2 hours in
• The Misadventures of P.B. Winterbottom – 3 hours in
• Gears of War – 4 hours in
• Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising – 1 hour in
• Grand Theft Auto IV – 3 hours in
• Duke Nukem 3D – 1 hour in
• Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 – 6 hours in

DS Games:

• Mini Ninjas – unplayed
• Star Wars: The Complete Saga – unplayed
• Professor Layton and the Curious Village – unplayed
• Rhythm Heaven – 1 hour in
• Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box – 3 hours in
• Scribblenauts – 1 hour in

As you can see, there are numerous games that take hours upon hours to complete. Some will be easy and are almost finished.

For a little bit of back story, I am somewhat of a completion-ist gamer. It all depends on the caliber of the title and how much those little collectible trinkets count toward the end of the game. Searching in detective mode in Batman: Arkham Asylum for fun clues and interesting facts about the Batman lore? I gotta find all of those fuckers. Searching for light metals and gasses across the massive galaxy in Mass Effect? Meh, if I find one on a planet I’ll get it, but I’m not spending any more time than I have to in that bullshit Mako vehicle. That’s horse rubbish. So I guess I care about getting most of the collectibles in the game, but I won’t torment myself over and over again to replay through Modern Warfare 2 to get all of the computer terminals or intel sheets.

Like I mentioned, you’ll notice that there are a few games like Final Fantasy XIII, Far Cry 2, Mass Effect 2 that need more than 30 hours to complete. Great…. So how do we take these buggers down? Patience and will power my friend.

Like Mr. Miyagi and Daniel-san before me, my current plan is to be patient and wait for the most opportune time to strike. I have to go through and complete one (or two) titles in my backlog before I can go out and buy a new title that is being released that I want.

Case and point: Dead Space 2. I really want it bad. Like, really bad. As in, I’ve been saving a Target gift card my friend gave me for Christmas to go buy it when it came out on the 27th of January 2011. I absolutely loved the first game, and couldn’t wait to get my necromorph’d hands on Dead Space 2. But before I got the enjoyment of buying, let alone playing Dead Space 2, I had to set out on the long arduous journey of taking control of Commander Justin “D-bag” Shepard of the Alliance fleet in Mass Effect and completing the game. I did it in just under 30 hours. Well then! Done and done.

So today, I finally made my purchase:

But that’s not it. I have to complete another game before the next title on my “to buy” list comes out. Sadly, beating a game before the next title’s release date isn’t going to happen. But maybe it will prevent me from spending the full $60 dollars on a game that will sit on my shelf for a few months and not get played. This way, by the time I get around to it the price will have come down (hopefully) and I’ll get the game for cheaper than retail. See the plan now?

And just to prove my point on how many awesome games are coming up in the first six months of 2011? Here’s an list of titles I “plan” on buying, once I complete one or two of my games in the backlog:

• Killzone 3
• Bulletstorm
• Deus Ex: Human Revolution
• Sorcery
• Mortal Kombat
• Portal 2
• Duke Nukem Forever
• Brink
• L.A. Noire
• Infamous 2

I didn’t even mention other huge titles like Marvel vs. Capcom 3, or Homefront (because I don’t plan on buying them), but it just goes to show you how release heavy buying video games have become. Please give me strength Loot Ninja readers, because I sure as shit need it.

I will need to be strong willed and stay true to my plan, because in essence I will have to constantly listen to all of you fuckers gloat and tell stories about how awesome Killzone 3 multi-player is while I’m playing a PS3 launch title from like 2003 (Resistance: Fall of Man). Screw you guys! Even though I’m the reason my backlog of games got this bad.

Now to go tend to my 33 stray cats - one of my stray cats had a litter and only 3 survived. The others were eaten by the pack of stray cats in my house.