Let me start by saying that I have been waiting for this game for what I consider to be far too long. I had only played HL2 VERY briefly but, of course, fell in love with it. I suppose I could have bought it for my computer at home. But to be completely honest I’m not all that crazy about keyboard controls (everyone tells me I’ll get used to them-piss off-I won’t). It has been almost four years since the PC release. I’m sure by now there are a handful of people that have lost interest in Valve’s epic creation. Those people are morons. Let me tell you why.

Oh, and make sure you’re comfy. Having five games on one disk can make for an extended review.

Popcorn might help.

Presentation & Graphics: Half-Life 2’s 2004 release brought to us a new level in graphics, level design and story. I will admit, after four years, certain textures in some of the areas are beginning to look ever so slightly dated. However, the rest of the game still looks fantastic. I compare the graphics to a mid-level setting on an above average PC. Episodes I and II follow through quite nicely. I would go so far as to say they look slightly better then their big brother. Portals graphics are pretty clean as well. But some of the levels come off as bland and after a period of time (especially the time getting used to the odd nature of the game), said blandness almost detracts from the overall experience.

I’m sure that the new look of TF2 has turned off some people. They’ve actually made their opinion quite clear on multiple forums. But since the number of players from the original has dropped off steadily in the last twelve years Valve can pretty much do whatever the fuck they want. So quit your bitchin’ and be happy that a your mom didn’t end up in the game wearing a tight plastic S&M outfit. Maybe I’ll recommend a patch. Hmmm.

Anyways. I consider the cartoon style kind of refreshing. Especially considering the obsession with realism at the forefront of most other games. Character design is average, but done better than average. If that makes any sense to anyone but me.

4.5 of 5

Sound & Music: The music keeps the pace going and your heart rate stays up in all the right places at all the right times. The voice acting is unusually good for ANY game and the atmospheric ambiance will keep you appropriately tense. If you have good surround sound, your knuckles will turn shades of white not found in nature. You can almost hear the effort the developers put into the game. TF2’s voices are great.

5of 5

Gameplay: HL2 is a FPS known for its great control and inventive level design. I won’t tell you much regarding the story. I will say that A.) You return as Dr Gordon Freeman, B.) seventy-five percent of the beings you encounter are still trying to kill you. And C.) Its been twenty years since the incident involving Black Mesa. Happily the newer episodes follow suit perfectly with none of that slapdash feeling you get from other developer’s efforts. No, I won’t mention ANY part of those story lines either, so don’t ask.

Then, theres Portal.

Portal is really confusing at first. It took me almost five minutes to even figure out that I was actually controlling that other person wandering around. Its like an interactive 3D puzzle. However, after no more than fourty-five minutes you’ll most likely have it down (not doing bong hits or drinking can shorten this time). From that point on you will be oddly engrossed. But man is it still weird.

Team Fortress 2 is a game of good intentions. Great character design, fun levels scream to be played with and upon. The one thing that wrecks the experience is the ungodly frame rate issues. In this day and age their simply unforgivable. Don’t get me wrong. When everything works well its hilariously fun. But when things get messy, its unbearable. At worst I’ve failed multiple times in killing an opponent with a rifle while I have fucking rocket launcher! A delay of about a second and a half occurs from the time you press the button to the time it actually fires. You don’t even see the rocket, just the explosion!! The frame rate is appalling! WTF!!!

But like I said, when everything works, its gold.

4of 5

Multiplayer: Team Fortress. I refuse to repeat myself.

4 of 5 (No issues) 2.5of 5 (Issues included)

Lasting Appeal: There is enough to do here. Believe me. HL2 is long enough on its own. Episodes I and II may not be as long, but their not over in a flash either. Just getting used to Portal takes some time, but once you get into it you’re basically a coma patient (in terms of time lost of course). Team Fortress 2 will eat up as mush time as any other game in its class, if the aforementioned problems don’t bug you too much.

As far as games go, this one more than delivers.

4.5 of 5

Final Word: As long as your not one of those people who get motion sickness from FPS, this is for you. Hell. Even if you are, get some friggin’ Dramamine or something. And if you’ve played HL2 already, rent this for the other FOUR games. I almost didn’t get this review done because I couldn’t break away. Nuff’ said.

Overall:4.5 of 5