I woke up this morning more excited than a mofo because of Obama’s victory last night. To my surprise, I find the saddest news I have ever faced. Yaris, the game I brought to fame with my name and my uber awesomeness, had been pulled from Xbox Live. It’s bad enough that my godly name had been used by Toyota to label one of the ugliest - and smallest - cars in the history of automobiles. I’m 6′2, dammit! At least make a car with MY name that I can fit in. But, of course, it gets worse.

Kotaku slandered my name without remorse making my name sound like the most unattractive thing on the face on the Earth. Any chances I had with women in the future has now gone down the drain. I don’t blame them, though. The game was probably one of the worst games in XBL’s library. Poor graphics, ludicrous tracks and game types, etc.

The name has even been de-listed from Xbox.com (the US specific version) with the game detail page leaving absolutely no trails of its existence. The game has been scrapped entirely from the face of the planet. Speculation of its removal has been thought to be contract agreement expirations with Toyota or just because it sucked so bad. And it was free… that hurts my pride.

I know what’s going on. Microsoft took it down because they now have Polyphony Digital (the developers of Grand Turismo) working on the upgrade. Either that, or my lawyers are pressing charges for making a game that belittles my image. Either way, I win. I hate my parents for naming me after something that sounds like a species of the rodent family. But at least my name is used on an ugly car. Ha!