What do you mean Bowser’s not so bad? Who the F**K is Smithey?!
Hot damn it’s good to see Squaresoft and Nintendo getting along together again. Of course, some of you may not remember the rough spot in the companies’ history – it wasn’t pretty to say the least.
And one of the best examples of this reunion is the re-release of Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars for the Wii. This is a favorite even among the RPG elitists.
NOTHING LIKE A GOOD OLD PICK AND FLICK ADVENTURE!!
Seriously, how friggin’ nineties is this game? In a time of Koosh Balls, Micro Machines, Tamagotchi, Stretch Armstrong and Toxic Crusaders, Boogerman fits right into the mix. I wonder how it would fare these days? Not that there’s anything over-the-top about the premise, but with today’s “sue everyone” attitude (something that was still a humorous, fledgling concept in the early-to-mid nineties), who knows what would happen to a company that dared to “encourage kids to attack and defend themselves with their own mucous.”
And for those of you who have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, well, just click the link. You might learn something. Something useless of course, but still.
Uugh, it is very early in the morning for me. What the hell is a caveman Ninja anyways?
Everyone knows that we here at Loot-Ninja are very avid gamers. We constantly challenge ourselves and never back down from any difficulty level. We will tear off your heads and shit down your necks – with gusto. Your parents will be crying in a corner as we stand on your head victoriously.
But sometimes we just aren’t in the mood for any neck-shitting, y’know? We’ll be sitting at home with some beer or whatever and don’t feel like decimating some faceless schmuck online. “What do I want?” You ask yourself. And then there’s the answer.
Two little cartoon things jumping and flailing and throwing bones at other little cartoon things that are jumping and flailing about. We just sit back and play through a game that any nine year old can beat.
Now you may be thinking to yourself “Wow Schwinghammer, you’re way off the mark! I want to be dragging some asshole out of his car in GTA IV and beating him with his own shoes.” So go friggin’ do it already!! But first ask yourself, when was the last time you just laid back and relaxed with an ol’ Hop-n-Bop game?
So this marks the first installment of our weekly series of retro reviews here at Loot-Ninja. We have chosen Super Mario Kart as the first review because for a lot of people it still stands as the pinnacle of the series. Anyone who’s been listening to our weekly podcast knows that I’ve been all over this game like a fat kid on a cupcake the past few weeks. So I’m going for it. Some of the jargon used will be explained for the younger crowd. Frickin’ kids.
Everyone loves countdowns. Especially when they are a highly contested topic such as video game superlatives. Here is the thrilling conclusion to the 20 SNES games of all time.
I love countdowns. I don’t know why. I’ll even watch a countdown on something I could care less about. I do care about the top 20 SNES games though. There is bound to be some arguing here. What do you guys think?
So I’m checking out press releases and such for interesting ideas I could post for you all. However it seems to be a rather slow news day in videogame world (except for Drunk Pandas, sorry man, ouch). So rather than give you a story on the local middles school’s bake sale or an elderly pedestrians recall of Christmas seasons past, I thought I would give you my personal wish list of games I’d like to see for Nintendo’s Virtual Console.
And seeing as how our fans make this site as popular as it is (thanks by the by), feel free to chime in if I’ve left any out. Maybe NOA will see this and expedite their release. As you all know, timing is everything.
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