Review: Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars (iPhone)

Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars, true to fashion, throws your character straight into the gritty underworld of Liberty City. The player is quickly hastened into an avalanche of murder, theft, and all-out war with the Triad underbosses. Your character is the son of a Chinese Triad Boss. Your father is murdered, and a priceless family heirloom is stolen in the process. Your mission? Avenge your father’s murder, and retrieve the artifact by any means necessary, all while climbing the ladder of criminal-success. It’s kill or be-killed in the crime riddled Liberty City, and while playing this game, you will experience plenty of both.

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Review: Running with Scissors: Pre-Season (iPhone)

Running with Scissors: Pre-Season (RwS:PS) is sLeek games’ red-carpet debut in the App Store. This release is a very good first offering for sLeek, and they are looking to capitalize on the iPhone’s multitouch capability in a unique way. The premise of RwS:PS is simple, win the race. Controls? Just as simple, run on screen with your fingertips.

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Riddim Ribbon – Like Audiosurf for your iPhone

Tapulous makes some nice iPhone rhythm games with the Tap Tap Revenge series. They’re looking to spice things up with Riddim Ribbon, a new rhythm game in a similar vein as Audiosurf. You’ll guide your character along the proper path in time with the music to score points. It definitely looks fun. Here’s to hoping they stick with the $0.99 price point.

iPad Haunts Your Portable Gaming Soul

Do you love iPhone gaming but think the screen is too small? Are you enormous sausage fingers getting in the way of most of the on-screen action? The iPad may be your answer, if you’re willing to shell out at least $499. With all iPhone games currently playable and scalable with pixel-doubling, all your purchases will instantly transfer over to Apple’s new super device.

Developers now have access to the new SDK tools to develop native apps and games for the iPad, so you can expect some bigger games to appear shortly after the device launches in March (April if you want the 3G version). Gameloft and EA are two developers already on board for the iPad.

My take on the iPad, or iTampon as it’s being called, is that it’s a huge iPod Touch with not much upside at the moment. No multi-tasking, no Flash support, and an awkward virtual keyboard make me very leery of a purchase. I’m happy with my iPhone. Until Apple gives me a reason to need to the iPad instead of my iPhone and MacBook Pro, my money is staying in my wallet.

Review: Fish Fun (iPhone)

Right off the bat, Fish Fun sounds like a grand old time.  What could be better than trying to make your way up the aquatic food chain, eating smaller fish to grow your character until you are king of the under water world?  Plus, the game title has the word “Fun” in it. So it has to be good, right?  Not exactly. Fish Fun has some good qualities, but in the end, it fails to live up to an engaging application that you would want to keep playing or even keep on your iPhone for the long run.  Where does it go wrong?  Read on to find out.

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Oh the Horror! Plants vs Zombies Delayed for iPhone

I’m a very sad panda. Now that I’m out of the house every day with a new job, iPhone gaming has become an even bigger part of my life. The lunch hour is spent throwing in some rounds of Canabalt or running through a couple missions in GTA Chinatown Wars. The game I was most anticipating, Plants vs. Zombies, has been delayed.

Originally scheduled for late 2009 then pushed to January, the expected release date is now mid February. Bollocks. I guess I’ll have to keep waiting.

If there’s one thing PopCap is good at, it’s making me spent money over and over on the same game. It happened with Peggle and it’s going to happen again with Plants vs. Zombies. Damn you PopCap. Damn you. I kid, I kid. You make amazing games. Just make them come out faster.

Review: Beneath a Steel Sky (iPhone/iPod Touch)

Classic point and click adventure games are back. Spearheading the effort is the original Beneath a Steel Sky, an oldie leading the new charge. Simple controls, story driven, and entertaining. The game delivered it all back in the day but does it hold up on the iPhone and iPod Touch? Read on to find out.

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Review: Happy Tree Friends: Slap Happy (iPhone)

You ever get that feeling that you just want to smack the shit out of someone? I’m not talking about kicking your dog or those cheesy ass Limp Bizkit songs, but more along the lines of taking out a little aggression on something that won’t hurt anyone or land your ass in the clink like Ronnie on the Jersey Shore. If you answered yes, hit the jump.

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Chinatown Wars Assaults Your iPhone

Considering we gave it Best Mobile Game for 2009 and I love playing games on my iPhone, this purchase will be a no brainer. Released in the wee hours this morning, Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars is now available in the US App Store for a cool $9.99. [App Store link]

The game is pretty much a complete recreation of the DS and PSP versions, even sporting the cool DS touch control sequences for hot-wiring cars and putting together your sniper rifle.

Make sure your iPhone or iPod Touch is fully up to date with firmware 3.12 or the game won’t run. All the hot new features Rockstar packed in there need the latest firmware. Once you’re all up to date, you need to run out and buy this one. It’s Chinatown Wars, why would you skip out?

Review: Palm Heroes (iPhone)

Palm Heroes is a turn-based RPG with a fantasy/strategy twist. Anyone that ever played Heroes of Might & Magic back in the day (like me) will find this game very familiar, because it’s made in that old-school style. Basically, you play as one of six possible characters, a Knight, Wizard, Orc, Princess, Warlock, or Necromancer. You build your kingdom and discover new places, searching out new skills and magic powers. As your kingdom expands, your hero gains power and skill.

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