Nintendo sent over Wii Sports Resort today, the first time Wii Motion Plus has entered my house. I’d played parts of the game at E3, so I knew what to expect from a few of the games (basketball, archery). It’s a lot of fun, and you can expect a full review soon, but today I had a very close call. For the first time ever, my Wii Remote slipped out of my hand and started flying towards my TV.
I’d always laughed at the dumbasses who break their TV sets by losing control of their Wii Remote. That could never happen to me. Wrong. Because of the true 1:1 nature of Wii Motion Plus, I was trying to throw the virtual bowling ball harder and harder, trying to put more spin on the ball. My first throw of the 9th frame went horribly wrong. The Wii Remote came flying out of my hand and got caught by the wrist strap (which I almost never wear). Thankfully I had the wrist strap on today and the Wii Remote spun around and bounced off my hand, settling down dangling under my wrist. Electronic tragedy narrowly escaped.
This is a warning to everyone: use the wrist strap. I don’t think I’ll ever stop using it after today. My electronic equipment is too valuable to lose it from being a dumbass playing the Wii. I’m sure you’re in the same boat, so don’t let this happen to you.
I bet all across the country, little kids opened up Nintendo Wii under their respective trees and have been playing it ever since. It’s ironic that my Wii gets zero playtime, but that being said, here is a funny Wii accident. Watch as little Billy takes a Gary Sheffield like cut at the imaginary pitch and fails to realize holding onto said bat is a prerequisite. Might want to wipe the Cheetos grease off of your hands next time.
A minor tragedy has befallen your good friends at Loot Ninja. One our of editors, who shall remain nameless for legal reasons, had to be sent to a Queens area hospital around 11:30 PM last night. He required immediate surgery and is now in stable condition. Loot Ninja was able to get a statement from the Admitting Nurse Practitioner:
The patient had to have immediate surgery to remove what appeared to be a Nintendo Wii Remote from his rectal cavity. When the patient was asked how, he just kept repeating…”Worst Final Smash ever…” What was impressive however was that the Wii Nunchuk was also present. Needless to say he won’t be gaming or sitting down anytime soon.
Our prayers are with you and we all hope a quick recovery and some much needed therapy are in store. Loot Ninja’s health insurance plan will cover all the expenses. Please be sure to leave your good intentions for this is truly the darkest of hours.
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