After reading Yaris’ hard hitting Why We Game article I realized two things; number one, that after reading his, my article would seem silly, and two, the things that I worry about in life are often silly as well. I do have things that are happening in my life such as a baby due in less than a month and a mortgage that keeps coming and doesn’t seem to care that my pay check has been sucking a little in the current economy, but in the end I am happy to have the baby on the way and happy to be able to pay for a house for him to live in. I realize that my life is by many standards easy and by any standards blessed. That, however, does not keep me from the most ancient of human traditions of worrying my ass off about every little fucking thing in the world.
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I’ve said it before and I’m saying it again, I like guns. Guns are cool. It’s not cool when people use them to murder each other, but other than that, they’re cool. In fact, let me go ahead and get this out of the way; if giving up my guns would stop all gun violence in the world, I would do it, but it won’t, so I’m keeping them. I’m not hunter or big collector, I just own a few and I go shooting at a range with my friends every now then, it’s fun. So, it’s no surprise that I’m a big fan of shooters. To me, part of the draw of the “Metal Gear” games has been collecting all of the different guns as well as Hideo Kojima’s attention to weapons detail. I also applaud Infinity Ward for the excellent job they did with the way all the different guns ”Call of Duty 4″ feel and sound.
Recently, a gun show came to town and while I like guns, I really don’t like most gun enthusiasts. I’ve been to two gun shows before this one and Confederate flags were a 2 for 2 showing so far. I’m very proud to live in the south, but not of the time in our nation’s history when the southern states broke from the team. But, hatred of much of the gun show atmosphere aside, I decided to put myself on a scavenger hunt and search out my top five favorite video game guns of all time.
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Have you ever had an older relative see you playing video games and have them pompously say to you, “Those things will rot your brain?” Well, it turns out they were wrong, in fact they were so wrong that I think it may constitute irony. As it turns out, video games may actually keep your brain from rotting. According to this article from Reuters, video games may benefit the aging brain. In a study of 40 adults in their 60s and 70s, researchers found that those who learned to play a strategy-heavy video game (the game used in the study was “Rise of Nations”) improved their scores in a number of tests of cognitive function. The article goes on to state that this is the first study to suggest such findings but the results were, “very promising.”
I always said I would be a gamer until I died, now I have a great excuse. We’ll know that the elderly are a target demographic as soon as we see the first “Murder She Wrote,” survival horror game.
I checked out J.J. Abrams latest T.V. series “Fringe” the other night. I found the show to be pretty compelling, but decided it was not one that I would be tuning in regularly. Not that I didn’t enjoy it, but I’m already hooked another one of Mr. Abrams’ shows, “Lost,” and after one episode of “Fringe,” I realized that I was only in for more impossible science, conspiracies, and just general weird shit if I were to decide to watch it weekly. “Lost” has mind-fucked me enough already, I’m not letting “Fringe” double team me. There was, however, one actress on the show that had me wondering where I had seen her before during the entire episode. In the opening credits of the show I saw the name Anna Torv and could not think of where I heard that name before. There was something so familiar about her, but I could not place it. So, after the show I decided to check out her IMDb page and soon realized why I had checked her page before.
Anna Torv’s is one of the only names of a video game voice actor I have ever bothered to look up, and it was for her work as Nariko in the PS3 title “Heavenly Sword.” The game was a 2007 title that received average marks from most critics and gamers. The game had quite a few glitches and the combat system, while fun, was very repetitive. The game was also painfully short, about nine hours. This made for a game that was good for a weekend rent, but with very little replay value. There was, however, one place where the game was almost unanimously praised and that was the cut scenes. I, along with most others, found the cut scenes to be entertaining and engaging, and not “Metal Gear” long. Much of the praise of these cut scenes went to motion capture king Andy Serkis of “Lord of the Rings” and “King Kong” fame for his work as King Bohan. The praise was very well deserved, but I can’t help but think that having this big name (especially in the world of motion capture acting) took a little bit of the spotlight away from Torv’s performance. She totally made the character of Nariko work for me, which, in turn, made the game. Perhaps my favorite line in all of video games comes in the middle of Nariko’s battle with the fish-lizard-lady, Whiptail. For those of you who haven’t played the game, this will mean nothing because what I love about the line has nothing to do with content and everything to do with delivery. It is during a mid-battle cut scene that Nariko realizes she has gotten under the scaly skin of Whiptail when she repeats a line that the villain spoke to her earlier: “Oh, it’s so much better when you’re angry!” Again, out of context it means nothing, but after I heard that line delivered, I knew Nariko and I were gonna gut that fish bitch.
I’m glad that Anna Torv has had somewhat of a breakout role this year. I regard her’s as one of the all time great performances in video game voice acting. And, if you have the stomach for mind bending sci-fi thrillers, check out the voice of Nariko in “Fringe.”
There are times when being a gamer doesn’t help out much in real life. Take the season of summer, for instance, when it’s too fucking hot to be outside, but somehow staying inside in the air conditioning all day to play video games instead of wanting to go for a walk on a beautiful, sunny, 105 degree day makes you the weird one. There are, however, those time in life when being a gamer is a great thing, two of which dawned on me this week.
1. CHRISTMAS
I was making out my Christmas list this week when it occurred to me; being an adult would suck ass without video games. You can say all you want about Christmas being all about joy, family, friends, and humanity’s ultimate salvation, and I will totally agree with you, but don’t the presents just make it that much sweeter? I realized that my Christmas list, filled with video games, video game accessories, and gift cards to stores that sell all of the above, could just as easily be the Christmas list of an excited 12 year old. When else in the history of all mankind has it been socially acceptable for a 31 year old man and a child to have similar Christmas lists and neither one be headed for the institution? It hit me that because of video games, I will always get to be a little bit of a kid on Christmas.
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The “Legacy of Kain” series is one of my all time favorite gaming series ever. It is absolutely filled with rich story and characters. The story is, in fact, one of the best and most in depth I have ever encountered. It is full of honor, sacrifice, fate, and pretty much everything else that makes a story “epic.” It is, however, when you throw in the elements of god-like vampires and time travel that the storyline also becomes one of the most complicated in all of gaming. You really had to make an effort to follow the goings-on of these games, much like “Metal Gear”; but, if you did, it was well worth it. I would like to try to give some sort of synopses here, but even that would probably take about ten pages.
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So, this week is a dud for new releases, but it could also be a good time to catch up on a game you may have missed. Once a new console releases, backward compatibility, for me at least, is mostly a none issue. I usually save my favorite “last gen” games until I actually play one of them at which point think I can’t believe I ever thought this game was good and discard it immediately. There are, however, a few exceptions.
For those of you who have never played “Armed and Dangerous” for the PC and original Xbox (it’s backward compatible on Xbox 360) you’ve missed a gaming gem. It is one of the most purely fun and entertaining games I remember playing. The characters and cut scenes may be the most genuinely funny I’ve ever seen. As far as game play goes, it is a run and gun third person shooter with some of the most unique weapons in all of gaming. Take the “Land Shark Gun” that launches, yes, land sharks that prowl just below the surface of the earth, dorsal fin exposed of course, only to leap from underground and devour enemies like baby sea lions. In later levels, you also get a jet pack allowing you to rain death from above in a way that is more fun than gimmicky. I feel it necessary to mention the cut scenes again. I can’t remember any other game that actually made me laugh out loud as much as this one, or at least not any other game that made me laugh out loud that was trying to.
So, if you haven’t had the “Armed and Dangerous” experience, this is a perfect week to try it for a rent, or look for a used copy, you’ll be glad you did.
For most, the phrase “Grand Theft Auto,” conjures up the image of a violent, yet fun filled, free roaming, and certainly third person gaming experience. There are those of us, however, that remember the original “Grand Theft Auto,” when it was a violent, yet fun filled, free roaming, top down gaming experience. Yes, in the days before “Grand Theft Auto III,” the violence what toned down, the view was top down, and the soundtrack was, well, I guess you could say watered down. These were not the full on “GTA” soundtrack experiences that we have today (and actually, really started more with “Vice City,” and not “GTA III.”) These were collections of unknown songs thrown together by Rockstar North, then DMA Design. Not only were these songs unknown, but you couldn’t change the station like you can now. The PC version had a few different stations per car, and the PlayStation version had only one set station for each different type of car. While each song was supposed to be appropriately tied to the type of vehicle you were in, the only one I really remember was the song for the truck.
Let me take a moment to say this, I am from the south, and I hate most country music. If you don’t like it, it definitely does not grow on you, it just annoys you more and more. So, when I was forced to, uh…commandeer a truck for the first time and the stereotypical country music came on, I jumped out of my moving vehicle to stop that shit. But, then came some mission where I was forced to use the truck, and something happened. I’m sure it started with these funny lyrics, but somehow this song grew on me. I don’t know what it was, but by the time I was done with the mission, I found myself looking for slow, shitty driving trucks to steal whenever the situation didn’t demand something better. It was the only song from the game that I remembered the title. It’s been ten years since that truck mission, and finally, thanks to a YouTube user that shares my passion for great music, I was able to take a joyous trip down memory lane with Sideway Hank O’Malley (and the Alabama Bottle Boys.) Ladies and Gentlemen, “The Ballad of Chapped Lip Calquhoun.”
First off, this article is for those of us who are still hooked on “COD4″ online. So, for those of you who are able to happily play “Gears of War 2″, “Resistance 2″, “Metal Gear Online”, “Halo 3″, or even “COD: World at War” without thinking they’d rather be playing “Call of Duty 4″, consider yourselves the lucky ones and don’t bother reading any further. For the rest of us, those of us who dream of airstikes and reaching level 37 to get your hands on the G36c again, this is for us.
In his latest HBO stand up special, Chris Rock explains his theory that while women cannot step backwards in lifestyle, men cannot step backwards sexually. He explains that once a woman dates a man with money, she’ll never go back to a broke guy, and once a man finds a woman that will do some freaky shit, there’s no going back for him either. I think the same thing also goes for gamers. Once we find something that takes gaming to a certain level, there’s no going back. So here are my five reasons why “Call of Duty 4″ is still my favorite multiplayer game a year after it’s release.
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The Holiday Season can be a particularly trying time for the friends and family of the tech-geek. We usually buy anything we want the day it comes out because we’ve been waiting for well over a year since it was originally announced. I usually end up with a shit load of Best Buy gift cards which is perfect because it allows me to buy the newest games and gadgets as they come out throughout the coming year. But, this is somehow unsatisfying for my beloved wife and family because they feel like gift cards are thoughtless and lame, I don’t but they do. So in an effort to fulfill their shopping desires I took a look around the good old internet to try to find something that may have flown under my radar this year, and I did.
I came across this voice changer on gadget_brado.com and thought that if it really works it could provide hours of fun. Alas the joy of calling your best friend to tell him that he has herpes without the pain of having to disguise your voice as some clinic worker. The only problem is that the person that you think this would be the perfect gift for is the person that should least have it. So, while this may make my wish list this year, I’m not buying it for anyone.
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