November 28, 2008 – 6:00 pm
Developer: Spark Publisher: Gamecock Release Date: November 4th, 2008
I’ll see your generic game and RAISE you a generic game…with werewolves.
As good as I am at ripping bad games a new pie-hole, I never really enjoy having to do it. It means that A) a bad game further solidifies my jaded attitude towards the industry, and B) I just had to sit and play a bad game. And that sucks. Hard.
In this week’s podcast I compared playing this game to getting drunk, passing out and waking up underneath a pile of old naked men. Disturbing? You bet. True? I’m afraid so.
I know you wanna keep reading. It’s my sinister yet comfortable writing style.
So let’s go.
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November 28, 2008 – 4:00 pm
Developer: Backbone Entertainment Publisher: Capcom Release Date: 11/25 - PS3, 11/26 - 360
IF IT AIN’T BROKE, DON’T FIX IT. POLISHING IT UP IS PERFECTLY FINE HOWEVER.
Well, it’s about time. Street fighter II: Hyper Fighting is one of my long-standing favorites of all fighting games. It’s now been officially replaced by this lengthily named Super Street Fighter II update.
The Street Fighter series has gone through its share growing pains like every other long standing property (Street Fighter was released in japan in 1987). But as you can see from the screen shots, a lot has changed. And while the jump into 3D (EX) was widely viewed as bad idea (with Alpha releases a close second), Capcom has taken its time and done its homework.
So before we see the highly anticipated Street Fighter IV, the developers wanted to show us that they can one-up their own best efforts and perfect the basics.
The result is one of the best downloadable games of the year. Get some.
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November 28, 2008 – 10:00 am
Ahh…Thanksgiving. You sit there, digest several pounds of food, various alcoholic beverages and try to forget the that’s it’s all in celebration of the decimation and raping of an entire people (don’t get pissy, it’s friggin’ true).
It’s not so bad though. Because SUPER STREET FIGHTER II TURBO HD REMIX IS HERE!!!!!
I know, right about now a person of Native American decent is giving the screen the finger. Sorry, but it’s an awesome game. Anyways it’s got T-Hawk in it. So download the game and beat the shit out of some Damn Yangees!
Oh yeah, there are some other games too. Badass.
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November 19, 2008 – 5:00 pm
Developers: Treyarch/Shaba Games Publisher: Activision Release Date: 10/21/2008
A SPIDER-MAN GAME YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO PLAY…WHO KNEW?!
Wow. As Spider-Man swings through the cityscape of NYC, you can actually hear the wind whistling past him - sometimes no music at all is the most exhilarating thing to experience in Spider-Man: Web of Shadows.
Then again, if it was, it would have a whole lot to contend with in the game. No movie license, an original story, and some RPG elements are just what the doctor ordered for the series. I was as excited as I ever was when I heard this was coming out (except for Spider-Man 3…ewwww). But the moment I got the game’s acrobatic and intense style wrapped around my head, it was Spider-Man bliss.
This is what the past games should have been, folks. Let’s jump on in.
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November 19, 2008 – 2:00 pm
Developer: SEGA Publisher: SEGA Release Date: 1983
GOOD LORD I DON’T REMEMBER MEMORY LANE BEING THIS BORING…OI.
Well, it took me long enough. Here’s my first Colecovision game review. For those of you not in the know (or the care for that matter), the system was released in 1982 - the second generation of video game systems. Now, this was back in the time before lawyers were needed at every turn. The video game market wasn’t as vicious back then. Hell, Nintendo’s Donkey Kong was the pack-in game with the initial release. Of course, some could speculate that Colecovision’s ability to play Atari 2600 games may have fueled that particular legal end of the fire. Who knows.
Anyways.
While Buck Rogers: Planet of Zoom certainly wasn’t a instant classic (or any kind of classic for that matter), I was a fan of the show. So I played it. So there.
And since there wasn’t much to the game, this will be a particularly short Retro Review. “So why do it Schwinghammer?!” you ask?
Because bite me. That’s why.
So that being said, let’s dive in, yeah?
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November 18, 2008 – 7:00 pm
Wow. Umm…not too exciting this week. Oh well, if every day’s a sunny day, then what’s a sunny day? The new Street Fighter homage in Pinball FX is definitely cool though. I suggest you check it out.
Dooo it…
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November 17, 2008 – 12:00 pm
Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not a huge fan of people. They’re annoying and stupid in large groups and aren’t much better individually, to be frank. From this attitude birthed my love of video games - no people required. I know that multiplayer and co-op have blown up as we’ve seen an increase in online gaming. And while that’s good and all my attitude towards people remains the same, why the hell would I want to interact with a person online when I don’t want to interact with people in the flesh?! “I don’t” is the answer. So, I currently represent a shrinking number of gamers. Boo.
Now this whole ‘online revolution’ really shouldn’t affect me much. But as time goes on I’ve noticed a seriously annoying trend - short single-player campaigns.
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November 12, 2008 – 9:00 am
Developer: Squaresoft Publisher: Nintendo Release Date: May 13th, 1996
What do you mean Bowser’s not so bad? Who the F**K is Smithey?!
Hot damn it’s good to see Squaresoft and Nintendo getting along together again. Of course, some of you may not remember the rough spot in the companies’ history - it wasn’t pretty to say the least.
And one of the best examples of this reunion is the re-release of Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars for the Wii. This is a favorite even among the RPG elitists.
Interested? You damn well should be. Hit it!!
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November 11, 2008 – 5:00 pm
Well this week definitely has a more ‘retro’ feel to it. Vigilante 8 is one of my favorite car combat games and I’m excited to see an updated return. Duke Nukem 3D is also a blast from the past (hasn’t the latest entry been in development for like a decade or something now?). But I suppose if you need something a little more current than the new Penny Arcade will do nicely.
“But Schwinghammer” you ask. “What is available from these fantastic titles?” Well, gosh. I guess I can show you.
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November 11, 2008 – 12:00 pm
Publisher: Activision Blizzard Developer: Etranges Libellules Release Date: Oct. 21st, 2008
Hey Spyro! Lookin’ good! Why are you limping?!
You have to wonder how many people have forgotten about the Spyro series. Since its inception on the Playstation 1 back in 1998, the series has been steadily losing steam and fanbase. And although this entry has great graphics, a great voice line-up (Elijah Wood, Christina Ricci, Wayne Brady, Gary Oldman, Blair Underwood and Mark Hamill), a Lord of the Rings-esque story/setting and an interesting elemental power setup, there is still a heap of basic things done wrong that keep this game in the bargain bin at your local gas station.
Let’s see what the damage is, yeah?
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