Author Archives: BJ Schwinghammer

I’m not the best at introductions so I’ll jump right in and tell a little about myself. I’ve been an avid gamer for roughly twenty-three years now, things have slowed a touch since I’ve discovered women and alcohol (luckily I found a girl who enjoys a spirited round or two of Street Fighter II Turbo and shots of Jameson-word), but I still fit time in quite well I think. Fighting games, shooters and RPGs are my top choices for genres (though fighting games seem to have less and less to offer in the way of ingenuity nowadays and far too much focus on graphics, but anyways).

I enjoy long walks on a beach and belly dancing……………and Monty Python.

I have all of the systems from my childhood (and the childhood of others- viva garage sales!). I still dust off my ColecoVision, Intellevision, Wonderswan etc, etc from time to time and have multiples of systems still in the original packaging so that one day I can buy the new 2027 model Ferrari (hopefully I can still use my legs by then). Call me a geek if you wish, but I just might take a length or two of your small intestines if you do. Just sayin is all.

Speaking of which.

One thing you will likely notice while reading my articles is that I tend to branch out heavily and change the subject frequently, but trust me when I say that at the end it will all come together nicely and you will be humored, well informed, and have some sort of strange, contorted expression on your face. And know that the thought of that brings a huge smile to mine. Because you will look stupid. :)

Well, lets get on with it then shall we?

Review: Tekken 6

Tekken 6 D.Jin Kazuya

GOOD LUCK FIGURING OUT WHAT CHARACTER TO CHOOSE…

I have been playing Tekken since its first release in 1995. The series has made a lot of headway over the years while never losing what made it stand out. Now with Tekken 6, the story evolves – kind of. True to the Mishima bloodline the youngest, Jin, has gone from reluctant hero to megalomaniac trying to take over the world – I guess these guys are just meant to be assholes. Oh well. Anyways a new tournament is here and Namco Bandai asks you once again to join. For the first time however this entry comes out on a platform other than a PlayStation with a semi-controversial Xbox 360 debut. But let’s be honest, this has been coming for a while hasn’t it?

So what’s all the hubbub about? Click on this thing here.

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Review: MagnaCarta 2

MC2

PRESS ‘A’ TO SKIP CUTSCENE. OOPS, YOUR CONTROLLER’S CAUGHT FIRE.

Once again we hear from Korean Developers Softmax. After a surprisingly successful release of MagnaCarta: Tears of Blood for the PS2, the series continues on the 360 with MagnaCarta 2. This is a interesting take on your usual Japanese RPG. The main character is a mysterious young man – Juto – who has lost his memory. And within a matter of minutes his relaxed lifestyle has been turned upside down and he finds himself on a quest to revenge a fallen comrade, help a princess regain her throne, and destroy the powerful usurper and his army. Cookie cutter you say? Perhaps. Wanna see how it all pulls together? Click on this thing down here…

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Review: Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars

Chinatown_wars_psp_screen

GTA: CHINATOWN WARS – NOW WITH MORE AWESOME!!

When GTA: Chinatown Wars released for the DS I felt that finally Nintendo had a mass-market winner with an exclusive game from a highly regarded third party developer. After hearing that the PSP was getting its own version I felt as if Sony was stealing Nintendo’s thunder. But more so than that I wondered about the inclusion of exclusive content, updated graphics and what would be done with the touch-screen segments from the DS version. Having played the PSP version in great length I can only say “Well, sorry Nintendo”. Somehow the incredible DS version has been topped in almost every way. And the PSP has a GTA that tops the story offshoots from GTA III and GTA: VC. What I’m trying to say is that Chinatown Wars for the PSP is the Shizznit. But I’ll explain more when you click this thing.

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Review: Naruto Shippuden Legends: Akatsuki Rising

Naruto Shippuden Legends AR 3

I have played more Naruto games in the past few months than I ever thought I would – and surprisingly it’s damn satisfying. I mean, who hasn’t wanted to be a ninja at some point in their lives? I’m thirty-two and I still want to be a ninja. After several previous titles, it seems that the Shippuden story hasn’t run out of steam quite yet. In Akatsuki Rising, Naruto is well into his teen years, but apparently he and his cohorts are still prone to adventure and danger. But is this an adventure worth taking? One way to find out.

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Press Release: Wine Tycoon (PC)

Wine

Wine is sunlight, held together by water.” – Galileo Galilei, 1564-1642.

A very old saying that for us wine lovers represent the poetic passion that we feel when pop the cork of out favorite bottle, take in the nose and close our eyes as we put the glass to our lips. And somewhere along the line a wine enthusiast like myself had the idea to turn that passion into a video game. Genius. I myself am very excited about this upcoming PC release. And for those of us who believe that the best wines still come from France you will be glad to know that the game takes place in some of the countries most important wine regions. Slated for an October 2009 release (the same time as France’s harvest), those with interest will not have to wait all that long.

What does the game entail? Take a look.

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Review: Penguin United Electroflow Inductive Charger (Wii)

penguin united logo

I’ve always wanted one of these inductive chargers. They seem so awesome. No plugs, no connectors that have to line up properly. Just place down and Voila!! Charge!! I have had very little experience with PU products, so that heightened my curiosity. Let’s see if that curiosity was rewarded.

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Review: Soul Caliber: Broken Destiny

SC BD

NOW WITH KRATOS – WITH NO EXPLANATION WHATSOEVER!!!

Kratos + Soul Caliber = Awesome. Having been a fan of the series since it first hit on the PlayStation in 1997, I approached this entry with a cautious eye – portable versions of established fighting franchises are hit-and-miss at best. And as excited as I was to play as God of War’s protagonist, I was equally as concerned with the history of games built around a franchise tie-in, which in many cases leads to releases with shiny looks and no real meat to the gameplay or story. That being said, let’s see where Soul Caliber: Broken Destiny ends up.

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Review: Active Life: Extreme Challenge

AL  EC Wii

THE DDR DANCEPAD JUST GOT EXTREME!!!

Good lord I have no idea what to make of this game. It’s an extreme sports based game using the Wii controller and a DDR dance pad wannabe, and the whole things is very kid oriented. Have you seen this thing? Anyone? Well whatever this game is classified as, I was very interested to see what it had to offer. And so I did! Come see what I found!

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Rant: The PS3 Slim/PSP Go! Price Gap.

Ps3 120G

Damn, Sony’s been busy this month, haven’t they? I’ve been toying with the idea of trading in my PS3 with an added 120G Hard Drive for the new PS3 Slim. I was also thinking about trading in my PSP Slim for the Go! Then I noticed something that had escaped me previously – the very small $50 or so price difference is disproportionate to the massive performance difference. Then that had me thinking “what the hell is Sony thinking?!”

Let’s start picking this apart then.

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Loot Ninja’s Vicarious Visions Studio Tour 2009

marvel-ultimate-alliance-2

Well, this was a fun day. You know what’s better than visiting the Vicarious Visions studio? Nothing, that’s what. Six and a half hours flew by as we ate, played games, ate, toured, ate,  interviewed the staff, ate and played more games. And at the end of the day, Matt had to drag me away – because I could have done another day or three-hundred and sixty-five very easily (that and I ate twice my body weight and couldn’t move – but we’ll get to that later). And seeing as my good time at VV borders on unhealthy obsession, Matt has seen it fit that I give you a verbal taste of the day in my own A.D.D. riddled fashion.

So here we go!

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