Too much wetness (or lubrication) is sometimes a bad thing right? We don’t need no slip ‘n’ slide…

I was scouring through the game demo section of Xbox Live last night downloading a few of them to pass the time, and I ran across the WET demo.  I went ahead and included it in my long list of Indie games to try out (thanks for the good memories Power Hour and The Drinking Game) for the night and was pleasantly surprised, and then underwhelmed.

Eliza Douche-koo (actually it’s spelled Dushku) adds the voice of our estrogen filled hero Rubi, a dual-wielding slo-mo assassin type aficionado, set in this Kill Bill-esque world.  The demo really doesn’t give away any of the story included in the game, so I was left to my own devices to come up with the story line.  Here is what I think happened…..

We start with a couple of gentlemen sitting around a round table in an Asian market.  They are drinking the “new” thing to hit the town, called opium flavored lemon iced tea.  It’s a must have on this side of Asian town.  The shop owner (probably of City Wok fame) enters carrying a briefcase from his black Chinese food delivery vans.  He sets down his secret spicy City chicken recipe in a nice steel briefcase and grabs a seat across from a very powerful mob boss, only to kill the mob boss in less than 30 seconds.  Now the freshly made opium tea is going to go bad.

In comes our hero, Rubi, voiced by Eliza D., who says a whole 2 damn words throughout the entire freaking demo.  I’m sorry, but Ms. Dushku, if you are going to shoot up and slice up every enemy in the game, you’ve got to let out a few peeps every now and then!  I only get to hear you say, “Well, let’s do this!”  I’d even settle for a few snarky, cheesy, over the top comments?  Dushku in my opinion has got one of the most deep, raspy, seductive and sexy voices in Hollywood, so why wouldn’t the gamemakers give her free reign to just yell out everything that is happening in the game like Zoey does?  It just doesn’t make sense!  I probably would buy this game if I knew Eliza was giving a stellar performance throughout the title, but here in the demo we hear 2 measly words in all of the action and suspense.  Sorry guys, the WET demo just isn’t for me then.

The gameplay in the demo is definitely over the top, but that’s what fits this style of game.  It knows it’s over the top, and it stays there.  There is no meter to speak of to hold your slo-mo action shots to a minimum.  You are free to knee slide, wall run, and jump or somersault your way to capping  way too many enemies in the time it takes to use your slo-motion power just once.  I loved the overall style of the game, with it taking on the look of Kill Bill like I mentioned before.

One thing I really enjoyed was how WET shows your health being deteriorated from gunfire or sword fights, etc.  When your health starts to get low your screen doesn’t show blood splatter or your view turning grey, but it takes on the look of film grain and lines starting to impose on the screen.  The more lines you start to accumulate, the more you need to take cover for a quick sec to recharge.

Later in the demo when you take out all of the unnamed enemies trying to get their hands on the famous opium lemon flavored tea, you start a massive car chase, hoping to hijack the trucks filled with opium lemon packets.  This segment of the demo plays out like a combination of shooter and quicktime event, with it jumping back and forth quite nicely.  I loved the action and suspense of this part of the demo, with the earlier “tea time” parts being quite mundane and flat.  This felt like a great over the top movie, and I was actually playing it.  The great thing about this (in movies or games) is that you really don’t mind if “that totally couldn’t happen in real life” or “there is no way that bullet would ever curve”.  You are presented with a signature moment in the very beginning that lets you know, “From this point on this isn’t based in reality”.  It lets you know that you are now able to break free from all knowledge of gravity and normal human physics, to be immersed in a newer slightly skewed world.

The next part of the demo is Kill Bill all the way.  After you finish up saving the opium packets, you are randomly put into a room where Rubi gets extremely mad, putting you into WET’s other signature item, Rage mode.  Or as I like to call it, Period Mode.  The walls, floors, and ceilings are completely covered in red blood, and now Rubi is this completely reversed black color with white highlights on certain trim for her clothing.  She moves a little quicker, slashes her sword a little faster, and overall just goes ballistic on everything that moves.  I can almost hear Dushku in my head yelling at her husband, “I TOLD YOU I WANTED RED VELVET CAKE!” as she hacks and slashes all of the nameless villains trying to attack her.

WET in my mind is one of those filler games before we get into the hard hitters coming up before Christmas.  I really don’t see myself buying WET at all, for good reason.  The story of Rubi looks cookie cutter and done a hundred times before, and the gameplay really doesn’t bring anything new to the table to warrant a buy for me.  The car chase sequence, Period Mode, and overall style of the game are definitely the highlights, but it just isn’t enough to go into my game collection come September.

Look for WET in stores September 15, 2009 on your next-gen console of choice (Xbox 360 and PS3).