So yesterday morning I was playing a little Halo Wars online because it’s awesome and I love RTS games, when out of nowhere my TV blacked out. Although the green light was on signifying the television was on, and my controller was vibrating because I was being attacked, there was no picture. I proceeded to unplug the TV, plug it back in, waited about 10 seconds and finally the screen came back on to reveal my base was swarmed with Marines and Hornets, and I was boned. I didn’t think much of this because it had never happened before. But I decided to give my TV some rest and I had to go to work anyway. Well then later that night, after I got back from work, around 10:15, I went back online to play a couple games to unwind. When the game began, I wasn’t overly thrilled with the map, but I was playing as the UNSC against the Covenant, so I figured I had a good chance of winning.  Little did I know, this epic battle had just began.  Allow me to interject here, and I’m not trying to brag, just telling it how it is, in 31 games I’m a rank 30 in Halo Wars and I’ve only lost 6 games, my best genre of video games is RTS—I challenge anyone reading this to Halo Wars, or Starcraft (the best game ever).

Now, the rest of the story… I was venturing into the depths of the map with some Marines and some upgraded Warthogs when all of a sudden my fucking TV blacked out again—not cool. After approximately 30 seconds it turned back on, and I was very unhappy. But then I settled down because it seemed to be working fine… or so I thought. Within the first 5 or so minutes of the game I had 3 bases, one filled with supply depots, barracks, a reactor, a vehicle depot and a Elephant stationed outside, one base had a supply depot and turret and my last base had nothing built on it. Then my television blacked out, but this time it was for much longer, about 3 minutes. I unplugged the thing, I hit it, I yelled at it, but nothing… it did not want to turn back on. Then it began to flicker on and off—Oh thank god, I thought, so I began to build lots of Marines, Scorpions, Warthogs, and Spartans, as my TV would turn on for a few seconds and off for a few seconds. However, after about 2 minutes of this it turned off and didn’t come back on again. As I sat in my lovely chair, hand on my head, controller on my ottoman, my controller began to vibrate—Fuck, I’m being attacked. About three minutes later the damn TV came back on to and revealed I had lost one base and was being attacked at my main base and then it turned off—as if it were taunting me, knowing it was holding me hostage in a prison of self pity. But I would not play its game, I unplugged the fucker and plugged it back in repeatedly and it decided, I believe to come back on. When it did turn back on my base was clear, I had over 10000 supplies and 21 units. I quickly built all the units I could, fearing my TV would turn off again, which it did, it began to flicker on and off, a few seconds off a few seconds on. I finally maxed out my units and sent them all to his main base. For the next 5 minutes my television turned on and off, but not enough to where I could see or change what my units were doing, so I went online and began telling Matt the story. After about 15 minutes the TV finally came back on to reveal that I had won the game. When I looked at the stats I had only lost 6 units during the entire game.

That was my epic battle, not only with my television, but with that noob I pwnd last night in Halo Wars, with almost no video support.

On a side note, I’m thinking of lighting my television on fire for the aggravation it has caused me, and if I do I will videotape it and put it online.