About a year back, we first heard about Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball from Gamecock. Being a connoisseur of all things ninja and a big fan of dodgeball, I naturally got excited. Delay after delay kept the game out of our hands, but it’s finally here on the Xbox Live Arcade. After all that time, actually playing the game was a big disappointment.

Let’s start with what’s good about the game. The graphics are nice and the sound is odd but catchy. That’s about where it all ends, though. Looking at the game will only give you so much fun, especially for $10 (800 Microsoft Points).

The gameplay is just off. You’re offered three modes of dodgeball, which are randomly chosen when you start the game. You get Traditional, which is what you’d expect, Enhanced, where you’re allowed to cross the center line for a bit, and Combat, where you can go wherever you please on the court. However, here’s where the actual dodgeball gameplay ends. In normal dodgeball, if you get hit, you’re out. You also can’t cross the middle line. Not so in Pirates vs Ninjas. You have a health meter which depletes a bit every time you get hit. And if you catch the ball, you regain some health.

The controls are a bit odd as well, allowing you to throw (X), catch (B), jump (A) or use a special move (Y). You can also dodge throws with the right thumbstick. The special moves are character defendant, whether you use the Pirates, the Ninjas, or the Zombies and Robots (after unlocking or online). If that isn’t enough for you, you can go up to an opponent and just beat the crap out of them with the X button. The gameplay, while having the basics, focuses too much on special moves and such, which takes you further away from the dodgeball mentality.

Throwing the dodgeball rules out the window aside, the courts are just odd. You get locations on beaches, in cemetaries, and in some odd Tron-inspired Robot world, among others. With various objects in the way (trees, tombstones, etc), it becomes difficult to run around and get the ball to take aim at an opponent. The camera really doesn’t help with that either, as it’s locked at a low level on one side of the court. Should a ball go over to a far corner, you’ll be running around quite a bit to try and pick it up, which becomes very frustrating.

The game features some multiplayer aspects, allowing you to play with up to seven friends on Xbox Live or four people locally. The problem with online play, aside from being difficult to find a match, is the insane amount of lag. In the ten matches I played (which were all losses, by the way), you’ll watch as your opponent and the balls bounce around the screen as you helplessly wander around and watch your health meter deplete. Not a very fun experience.

I had high hopes for Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball, but sadly, the game doesn’t deliver. The dodgeball gameplay you’d expect isn’t there and the experience just doesn’t give enough to make you come back for more. Try the demo at most, but this isn’t worth $10.

Overall: 3.5 out of 10

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