Developer/Publisher: Data East Release Year: 1991
Uugh, it is very early in the morning for me. What the hell is a caveman Ninja anyways?
Everyone knows that we here at Loot-Ninja are very avid gamers. We constantly challenge ourselves and never back down from any difficulty level. We will tear off your heads and shit down your necks – with gusto. Your parents will be crying in a corner as we stand on your head victoriously.
But sometimes we just aren’t in the mood for any neck-shitting, y’know? We’ll be sitting at home with some beer or whatever and don’t feel like decimating some faceless schmuck online. “What do I want?” You ask yourself. And then there’s the answer.
Two little cartoon things jumping and flailing and throwing bones at other little cartoon things that are jumping and flailing about. We just sit back and play through a game that any nine year old can beat.
Now you may be thinking to yourself “Wow Schwinghammer, you’re way off the mark! I want to be dragging some asshole out of his car in GTA IV and beating him with his own shoes.” So go friggin’ do it already!! But first ask yourself, when was the last time you just laid back and relaxed with an ol’ Hop-n-Bop game?
Been a while, hasn’t it?
I have fond memories of Joe & Mac (obviously). It was always one of those games that you could whip out and play while your brain unwinds from a crappy day at school. “I just got finished learning about the global impact from changes in world politics after WWII – I gotta switch off for a while”. Well here you go. A game where two cavemen had their women stolen by other inbred/Deliverance looking cavemen. And dammit, you gotta get them back. Or you will have no women.
And F**k that shit.
OK so I’m not making it sound mind-blowing. That’s because it isn’t. Simply put: it is what it is. The whole time your thinking to yourself “Jesus, this is easy AND corny!” But that’s the beauty of it! Because you’re actually enjoying yourself!
It’s crazy!
I remember when I first bought this game (and believe me, back in ‘91 it was pretty cool…for nerds…anyways). The sprites were bright and looked pretty damn good for the times. It was a nice break (but not a change) from the Mario games I was immersed in previously. The difficulty was low, so playing on the hardest level made it seem worthwhile. A neat concept: cavemen, big bosses that took up a chunk of the screen, and babes to rescue. Certainly not groundbreaking – but adequate for something different.
And so it went. Think of Contra-style gameplay but waaaay more cartoony. Jump. Shoot. Move forward. You would start off throwing bones but could then pick up things such as Boomerangs, Clubs, Fire, Flint, Stone Wheels and finally Electricity. The controls were par for the course for a third-party platformer: Attack, jump and run. That’s was it. The two player mode was there just in case you had a friend. This upped the fun factor and added some strategy – mainly “you go high, and I’ll go low….we are sneaky”.
I think that the most fun was had when you were playing with a friend on 2-Player Super game. With the difficulty so low you could just screw around and beat that crap out of each other and then the enemies onscreen then back to each other and so on and so forth. And every time you would confront the stage boss some asshole would drag one of your women off right before the battle started. Bastards.
The one thing I enjoyed about the SNES version was the ability to choose your levels from an overworld map rather than having to just work your way through each predetermined stage.
And by the end of it all you’ve made your way through all the levels (I believe there were around ten or so), and the final boss (I won’t ruin it for you) lay defeated at those hairy feet of yours. You might have broken a mild sweat but still had a blast.
And now you have a whole group of women to hang with. Well done goofy cartoon cavemen, well done.
So there it is people. Games like this remind us that we shouldn’t try to be too hardcore. Once and a while it’s OK to pick up a game that makes us feel like the world isn’t such a terrible place. And Joe & Mac is one of those games. So pick it up and have a go.
And if you have kids kickin’ around this is a nice relaxing bonding experience.
Then when you’re done you can go get that Mother F**ker in GTA IV that stole your Comet while you was bondin’ wit yo kid ‘n shit…yeah step on his head!!!
Oops, sorry.
Then: 7.5 out of 10 Now: 7.5 out of 10
Durka!!
Definitely like the Contra style. I too liked the color of this game it had just a happy vibe when playing it back then
[...] Retro Review: Joe & Mac (SNES) [...]
Well that was awful. I’ll give you credit for correctly placing Joe & Mac into a category of leisurely “hop-n-bop” games, but just about everything else was a mess. For starters, you’re haphazardly merging elements of the SNES and arcade versions, which are drastic departures from one another aside from graphics.
The game doesn’t start with a throwing weapon. Bones have to be collected as a power-up just like all the rest, so there are not 5 additional power-ups beyond the default. There’s no “flint” (whatever that is you’re referring to) or “electricty” in the SNES port. Aside from the title screen, even the screenshots you used are from the arcade original as well. Have you ever played a SNES game that prompts player 2 to “INSERT COIN”?
You said the controls are limited to, “Attack, [sic] jump and run. That’s [sic] was it.” In fact, “that’s” was not it. While I’m picking nits, there was also a roll move, which can be essential in perfecting the game, since it’s sometimes the only reasonable way to avoid damage.
Since you mentioned how much you favor the ability to choose the stages from a world map, it might also be worth mentioning that there’s not really any choice at all. Players still have to complete all the stages in the order they’re presented aside from the option to return to completed levels for more power-ups.
Finally, I despise you for bookending this review with references to the Grand Theft Auto series. They may be fine games in their own regard, but the mention of them in the same breath with anything from the SNES era is like some kind of ideological pollution.