Lehman, PA -

I have a question. What’s worse than having to go outside and get the mail when your 13 on Jan. 31st around 8pm? Answer? Having some douchebag roll up in a SUV and grab the PSP right out from your hands. Way to use your opposable thumbs kid.

It’s sad to know that shit’s going down in fine, upstanding places like Blooming Grove, PA. Have I ever been there? Of course not. And I never frickin’ will now that I know that some asshole is driving around in a black Ford Expedition with tinted windows, running boards and rims that were either gold OR silver. Especially now that I know that said person in said vehicle is stealing PSPs from citizens in or around mailboxes. No siree-bob.

Is that what people in Pennsylvania are doing for kicks now? Huh?! Can’t be content with drinking in Philly or buying quilts or varying (but almost always good) quality from the shaker or quakers or candlestick makers or whatever? You disappoint me, entire state of Pennsylvania. You truly have fallen from grace. And here I thought that it was just your sports teams that sucked. Damn.

All that aside. That’s some pretty bad luck for that kid. Whatever his name is. If you do read this, nameless child. Just know that you have our sympathy as well as out criticisms and ridicule.

Better hope people in your town needs their walks shoveled or something.

Just remember, you can get a wrist-strap for the PSP. Bet you feel pretty silly now huh? If your not still incredibly sad.

Anyways.

Durka!!