Things seemed to go right for most of the upper seeds in the “To Catch a Predator” bracket… but anything can happen when dealing with sexual deviants.

Match 1: (1) Hard Man (MM 3) vs. (7) Snake Man (MM 3)

After coming off an upset win, Snake Man needed to somehow find a way to slow down Hard Man. What does a man do to one who has never known flaccidty? Snake Man quickly boards a bus for Tijuana and picks up a bootleg prescription for the Mexican equivalent of Viagra and heads back stateside for the match. Underway, Snake Man begins to worry, his erection has persisted for more than 4 hours and he knew he had to consult a physician. Out of desperation, he asks Hard Man to bestow mercy on him. Hard Man looks Snake Man dead in the eyes and says, “4 hours? My erection has lasted twenty seven years bitch.” It was a hard day’s night indeed.

Winner: Hard Man

(3) Drill Man (MM 4) vs (4) Quick Man (MM 2 )

Here are two mega men you would not leave your daughter alone with for a minute. Especially, if your daughter was an attractive Pepsi machine. Quick man had a plan to derail the Drill man express. He rented a good humor machine and wheeled it in to the ring. To no one’s surprise, Drill Man became infatuated and ran over to introduce himself. The plan was for Drill Man to make sweet sweet love to the ice cream machine and develop hypothermia from the below freezing temperatures. Unfortunately, “I don’t know what you’ve been told, but Good Humor pussy is mighty cold”, is what was shouted by Drill man as he began to go to town on the Choco Taco slot. After he was finished, he stabbed Quick man in the face with a Firecracker pop.

Winner: Drill Man